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The art of conversation

Short answer: Connect before you pitch. Families in probate are often grieving and unsure. Listen first, offer something helpful, ask permission to send it, and follow up on a steady schedule. Calls and letters work best together, and a good opener asks for a small yes: “May I send you something?”

Does being first matter in probate?

Being the first to contact a probate prospect isn't as critical as it is with expired listings or for-sale-by-owner homes, but building the relationship early helps. Consistency and good systems for follow-up matter more. Many of the people you talk with are in their fifties or older and are dealing with a parent's estate or a move into senior living. Approach them with empathy, respect, and professionalism.

How do you stand out?

Many people are offering “list with me” or “we buy houses.” Show your process and your team instead. Explain how you help a family think through options for the house. When someone calls you, aim to turn the conversation into an appointment quickly, and go yourself or send someone you trust.

What is the right opener?

The first call is often the hardest part. A good opener offers something of value and asks for permission: “May I send you something?” The best way to get someone to open up is to offer to help with something that will save them time. For me that has been a short guide to the process. If you've mailed them, say so.

Calls or letters?

Both. Letters are effective with the right message and patience, and they tend to work more slowly than calls at the start. Combining them gives the best chance of being remembered. If you find calling hard, practice. It is a skill that gets easier.

What principles keep a conversation going?

• Connect. Meet the person where they are.
• Commit. Do what you say you'll do.
• Inspire the hire. Help them see you as their choice.
• Deliver the results. Do the work well.
• Leverage success. Let good work lead to the next introduction.

Don't change the subject mid-conversation. Picture a friend joining a conversation and suddenly switching topics. Don't be that person.

How often should you follow up?

Build a steady rhythm. As an example, I schedule a check-in about every 21 days based on how the last conversation went. Write a note after each call so the next one picks up where you left off.

Try this week

1. Write a three-sentence opener that ends with “May I send you something?”
2. Role-play it once with a friend.
3. Set a follow-up reminder for 21 days after your next conversation.

Questions people ask

What if they hang up?

It happens. Stay kind, note it, and honor any request not to be contacted.

Should I text?

Be careful. Follow texting rules and get consent where required.

How do I handle silence?

Wait. Let them think, and answer with empathy.

This lesson is educational. Results depend on your niche, your effort, and your follow-up. Nothing here is legal advice, and nothing here promises leads, listings, clients, or income.